Outdoor Survival

When you’re lost in the

woods--stop, stay in one place.

Build a lean-to out of branches,

use your spoon and start

digging your latrine,

light a fire and send out

smoke signals, just don’t

wander.

Studies show that people

walk in circles when their lost,

and your rescuers might miss

you if your circle is too big.

What no one tells you

is how long to wait.

Until your hair is long and grey

like Rip Van Winkle’s?

Or just until the moon is full?

What if no one is searching

for you?

Or maybe they are yards

away hidden in the trees, waiting

for you. Maybe they are lost too.

Chicken of the Sea

We are at the aquarium when she tells me

that the last time she threw up, shoulders hunched over

the porcelain toilet bowl, strands of blonde hair

grazing the seat, her index finger probing her throat,

she threw up tuna fish.

I wanted to stop, and I knew I’d never

Again make myself vomit

Once I’d thrown up tuna fish.

I imagine the miniature tuna swimming

up my throat, trying to force there way out.

Then the salmon I saw on a hike in sixth grade

that died trying to go home.

That salmon stopped eating,

put everything it had

into swimming upstream,

its mouth turning into

a beak. It slowly

began decomposing

but thought about

nothing but the task at hand.

The pressure of the vomit coming up

her throat like that salmon, swimming

against the current. And the smell:

like a dead fish lying on the sand under a hot sun,

frozen in a last gasp, ribs beginning to show through scales.

Blended with the slimy green algae that floats on

the surface of the pool you haven’t used in years

Because I told my Mom I would post this conversation

I love my mom, this is fairly typical phone conversation between the two of us:

Me/K: I am going die of boredom driving home. Christmas better be worth it!

Mom: I hope your idea of a good Christmas isn't being showered with expensive gifts because I'm just not feeling it.

K: What?? That was exactly what I was expecting!

M: Well, we are remodeling the bathroom--isn't that a nice present that you can enjoy on a daily basis?

K: No. I think the bathroom is fine the way it is!

M: Gus says it repulses him (Gus is the family cat).

K: Gus??

M: Yes, I just walked by and he said the bathroom repulses him and he hates it when Kirsten says things like that.

OH THE HUGE MANATEE!!!

I saw this picture on a professor's door in the JFSB and I LOVE it. And the grinch.

Prelude to a Merry Crystal Meth-mas

an update on my Thanksgiving weekend/ everything that has happened since

TUESDAY
Left Provo. Nothing exciting happened.WEDNESDAY
I had an adventure trying to park the red yacht on the street in Portland while I got my hair cut then rushed to the temple to wait for my roommate to come out with her new husband!! I wish I had the pictures because she looked absolutely beautiful.

Then I sat at the single ladies table at the luncheon-- it was great.

THURSDAY

Actually the least exciting day of the break. I got in another fight with my Dad and ate. A lot.

FRIDIA

Lots of reading and spending time with my sisters. Then I went to help put together the floral centerpiece's for my roommate's reception. The reception was out at Pumpkin Ridge--I am sad it was so dark by the time the reception started that you couldn't see how beautiful the drive up was. I picked up one of the the roommate's friends from High School so she could be there and it was interesting talking to her. The reception was amazing. Better food than Thanksgiving.

SATURDAY

Shopping solo.

I started out on the east side with Bolt, then moseyed over to Xtabay which is a little hard to find but well worth the hunt. They had some of the best vintagedresses I've seen in a long time--too bad I couldn't justify buying another dress. Then I headed back to the west end Narcisse, Frances May, and the Radish Underground. All three of these stores were participating in the shop local black Friday weekend, so I scored a great deal on blue wool NOA NOA ruffled shrug. Then I went down to Pioneer Place to check out the holiday pop-up Flurry, which I quite honestly wasn't very impressed with. On the way home I stopped by the local cemetery for some pictures in my newest purchase:

Juust Kidding. This is baby S who I went to play with later Saturday night after I stopped by at A's birthday party. I think baby S remembers me, and even if we didn't we still had a great time playing together and it made me so happy to see him and his family.

Here's the cemetery picture:

I headed back to Provo on Sunday where it's been mostly back to business. Squincher has been dying to do every one's makeup so we had a little photo shoot with G's brother where you can see more of my new favorite shrug.

On Thursday night I went to the Beehive Bazaar with Candy. It was a lot of fun, but we are so crafty we mostly ended up with a lot of ideas for crafts. But I also got a floral cameo bracelet and a pretty card:

It says, "I want to be where you are". Ironically, this Sunday morning I woke up to snow at Lumberjacqueline's house, but I am also working on finishing up this swimsuit for class today.

I would call it the Olive Green Grecian Goddess Swimsuit, but that's a mouthful.

Today I'm Thankful for:

My Family,

An old box of photos (Can you guess where I'm from?),
Mistakes and serendipity,
Finding the beauty in plainness,
And my Beautiful mother.

On the top of my Christmas List

I might go camping if I had one of these:

Just Kidding. I actually enjoy camping. If I had one of these I would wear it around the house all the time--the snuggie doesn't stand a chance.

[Via TCH]